If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
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