I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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