Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize