we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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