Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
