Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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