Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
