so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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