We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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