Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall

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(614): Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall http://tfl.nu/esl2

Replies (4) Good night (2474) Bad night (643)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.

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(412): It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg. http://tfl.nu/82qd

Replies (46) Good night (1788) Bad night (3338)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.

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(443): I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/l068

Replies (25) Good night (1668) Bad night (6918)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

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(920): i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/6eew

Replies (13) Good night (4530) Bad night (1090)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.

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(479): just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation. http://tfl.nu/5hwm

Replies (162) Good night (1342) Bad night (6965)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.

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(417): I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL. http://tfl.nu/srh0

Replies (21) Good night (3888) Bad night (1649)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.

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(276): Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco. http://tfl.nu/65bb

Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (1629)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

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(705): I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night. http://tfl.nu/p7qx

Replies (1) Good night (1556) Bad night (929)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

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(587): Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch. http://tfl.nu/ad1t

Replies (6) Good night (2381) Bad night (816)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over

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(978): I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over http://tfl.nu/83z5

Replies (10) Good night (1797) Bad night (661)
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(212): View more from New York

LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.

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(212): LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/na6f

Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (470)
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(503): View more from Oregon

if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in

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(503): if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store. (1-503): oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in http://tfl.nu/nfm9

Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (416)
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(406): View more from Montana

Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced

(1-406): View more from Montana

Way to crack the case Nancy Drew

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(406): Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced (1-406): Way to crack the case Nancy Drew http://tfl.nu/rhym

Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (505)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook

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(610): So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook http://tfl.nu/uied

Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (588)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck

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(603): I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/hnq6

Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (176)

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