And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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