yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
