she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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