billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The beer is more important than you right now.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
