Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just pee around me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A+ Viking dick
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
