he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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