Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
