dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
