I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
why is half of my head shaved?
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