$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He better not be in your backpack
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
