brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
