He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
