Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think i have two assholes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
