he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize