haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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