Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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