idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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