Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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