He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize