Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
