The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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