Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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