tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
