I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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