How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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