i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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