i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize