Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
