the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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