Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
