He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
