Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And then he peed in my hair
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