Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
