I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
