do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
