Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
