Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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