i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
