You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
