I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
