I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize