Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
