Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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