I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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