you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
