We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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