I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
