she woke up with a sticky ear
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
COCAINE IS GR8
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
