I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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