no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
