i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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